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Lesbian porn???????????????? my girlfriend views lesbian and gay porn online on my laptop. She dosnt know i know but my history saves in another file even if she deletes it so i know she watches it all the time. I confronted her and she swears she has no intrest in girls and shes not bi or even curious.
I drove her to work and when i went into her car since her keys are at my house we live together but i never go into her car we allways us my car......she has blankets in her backseat and under them were some porn cd's all lesbian porn. I didnt ask her since she would think im snooping threw her stuff but i asked her if she has any porn or ever bought porn cd's and she got mad like im bothering her and brushed off the topic.
I showed her my porn cd's but when i asked her she gets mad. She did cheat on me before but with men no girls so thats why i look threw her stuff i have trust issues and she tends to never admit anything.
Since she cheated on me and i forgave her she has shown me she wants to only be with me but i just dont see myself coming to that point to fully trust her again. I didnt introduce her to my family yet and she felt i was hiding her so thats y she cheated she dated 2 other guys while we were together. I was just waiting for the rite time to introduce her....my family is strict and shes black im white. I forgave her only because i love her and i knew mabey i was wrong for taking so long to introdce her..........................but whats up with the gay porn is she lesbian bi ???????? | | It may be because lesbian porn is softer and less aggressive than straight porn. I have a lot of girl friends who are straight who find lesbian porn more of a turn on. | Lesbian Porn!? I am always catching him looking as lesbian porn. And I ask why do you look at it you are happily married. He replys I don't know and every answer is I don't know. And he says I have been doing it before I met you and so on he says. Its because you don't give me pictures. But I have and he still looks at sluts all the time and it makes me feel like I am not good enough for him. What should I do? | This is really long, but bear with me. I have some experience with this, and helping couples get back on track with recovering from Centerfold Syndrome. (That's where men have a self-serving, voyeristic need to objectify women, and view them in a submissive, reduced way.)
He sounds like he has Centerfold Syndrome. And, probably a porn addiction. Porn causes the body to release endorphins and makes dopamine, which can become quite addictive. Similar to when a relationship is new. It's like a "high".
And as far as lesbian porn, it's quite an ego trip to imagine two women pleasing each other, and giving him a break from having to perform himself. Trust me, in real life, more men that not get performance anxiety when they're with two women. Obtaining and maintaining an erection is difficult to do because of the intimidation factor. It sounds erotic in theory, but in reality is not quite as hot.
Some guys feel just plain inadequate and need to reduce women to a level that is more comfortable for them to deal with. They do this by objectifying women. They like porn because they can make it all bout them. The woman is a visual that creates the fantasy that she is there to please him and him only, and unselfishly. She is much less intimidating than a real woman, who has feelings, needs, goals, flaws, and talents. A real woman could be potentially disappointed.
A porn image is a woman who can never be disappointed. She knows nothing of his flaws and failures. That's part of the attraction. In all reality, she is a pretty woman made up to look beautiful, and she is catering to a market because she lacks the job skills to do anything else that is actually worthwhile. This is much less intimidating than a real woman with skills, capabilities, competencies, and strength. Sometimes, strong and capable women can be a touch emasculating to a man.
Please do not take this too personally. Your man has a problem. He is addicted to the objectification of women because he is intimidated and feels inadequate. It does not detract from your wonderful redeeming qualities, and it does not detract from your desirability. I understand that it is insulting, hurtful, and a betrayal, because YES, it IS cheating.
Cheating is when one turns away from their partner and goes outside the relationship to meet their needs; Needs that they have not yet disclosed to their partner or given them a chance to fulfill. It is completely self-serving, at the expense of their partner, their trust, and their unconditional positive regard. Plus, it's mean.
Porn is for guys who have no other options. Single guys, guys who don't date or couldn't find a date, and guys donating sperm at a sperm bank. it is not appropriate in a relationship if one partner feels insulted or hurt, and if it is appropriate, it should be shared with both partners.
Telling him how you feel may not necessarily be the answer. That would imply that he is responsible for your feelings, when he's not. No one wants that job. And It might cause him to become sneakier. He will feel even more emasculated and like he has to answer to you. You don't want that.
The best thing to do is find out what he thinks the appeal of porn is. Ask him how he thinks he would feel if he were in your shoes. See if he is able to even come close to how you feel, without trying to defend himself. Then , lay down the law. Let him know that you want to be a priority, not just an option. tell him to choose to turn away from you to porn, or to you to fulfill him. He needs to choose.
Let him know that you understand that a one dimensional image in much less intimidating than a real woman, but you will not accept a man who objectifies women. Period. Tell him that you can do better (than him), if he continues to. Be prepared to leave him and move on. You really can do better. Other men would feel lucky you picked them, and always make you #1.
Tell him that you want to be #1. Tell him that in order to feel like his #1 choice, you need to be flattered, acknowledged, considered at all times, flirted with, pursued, and won over. Tell him that you can imagine that he probably wants the same thing. Be willing to give to him what you want from him.
Tell him that cheating is your dealbreaker. Cheating is doing anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner, wouldn't want them to know about, or self-serving pleasures that exclude your partner. That means internet chatting, emails, porn, phone calls, "just friends" dates, etc. It means maintaining relationships with other men/women that exclude your partner. While masturbating in the shower is not cheating, jerking it to porn IS, unless his partner is by his side, participating.
IF you want to rekindle that spark, you have to understand something. When a relationship is new, your body produces all kinds of chemicals that give you a "high". Over time, your bodies produce less of those chemicals and start making new onew that promote a long-term sense of comfort and security, as well as acceptance. It takes more time to clear the "noise" to allow your mids to focus on the moment, when you are being physical with your partner. Your body then takes longer to "respond" to your partner. This doesn't mean it's "over" or that the passion is gone.
It means that you are emotionally invested in your partner. It means that you see them as a whole person, with all of their redeeming qialities as well as their flaws. Past hurts can create baggage that is hard to overlook, to focus on the moment. All of this makes "noise" in your mind that's hard to turn off.
To turn off the noise and give your body a chance to respond, is the thing to do. Shut the tv off and sit cnd chat for a bit, share that emotional intimacy of revealing the secret parts of yourself to your partner that you woldn't share with another living soul. Flirt with your partner and acknowledge his ego, appreciate him for all that he does that causes you to be attracted to him. Compliments and positive observations are the way to do this. Seek to understand him before expecting to be understood.
Then go about geting physical, but take your time and don't be discouraged if you're not "hot and bothered" immediately. Tell him you need more time messing around before going further.
The idea here is that it's not that you're not good enough for him. It's more ike he doesn't feel good enough for you. He feels inadequate and like a disappointment to you, so he has to make it all about him. When you understand and make effort to reactivate those "new relationship" chemicals, you replace the need for him to seek them on his own.
This could involve some physical activity that engages you both, like salsa dancing or rackettball, flirting, dating, and pursuing each other, and appreciation. Always remember that you need to be the one who takes care of his ego the best, and he will respond to you be making you #1. It won't happen overnight, but if you give it time and patience, consistency and don't criticize 9that emasculates him) he will grow to count on you to fulfill him.
If you search for Dr. Laura Berman's Passion Files, she has links to female-friendly erotica and female-friendly porn that you might like to check out. Porn can be really erotic when it doesn't objectify the woman, or portray her as slutty and existing to serve the male ego. Check it out on your own, to see if you are comfortable with that (and if you want to meet him halfway).
Good luck to you. This is fixable, if you want it to be. Do you love him? Is he worth it? If so, then I wish you the best. | Is there any websites that have lesbian porn that was made for lesbians? Cause the majority of the lesbian porn on popular porn sites are made for men and half of them make me LOL because a lot of the things the "lesbians" do in the video is hilarious. So do they even make lesbian porn for lesbians? | Yes, there are! A decade ago, you would have been hard-pressed to find much, but lately, there are quite a few porn companies run by queer women, for queer women.
I'm not sure what kind of porn you're looking for (softcore? hardcore? femme-femme? butch-femme? butch-butch? trans-inclusive? punky alt girls? etc.), so I'll just list a lot of different ones:
1) Crashpadseries.com. In my opinion, the best site out there for real queers. Lots of amateurs and real couples, a very San Francisco dyke-next-door aesthetic (i.e. no fake plastic pornstars here!), and I personally really like the style of filming, which uses two cameras to capture the interaction between the couple and has a lot of face and full-body shots. Also, the sex is really hot and the company is very focused on being ethical- the performers decide what they're going to do and aren't pressured by a director, they get to choose their safe sex precautions, and casting is open to all gender identities, races, sizes, etc.. In other words, it's super awesome, and there is nobody there faking it for a paycheck or doing it for men.
2) Gooddykeporn.com. Small Canadian site run by one woman, Bren Ryder, after she got inspired by Crashpadseries.com. Being a much smaller operation, the quality is lower than CPS, but certainly adequate enough, and I like that what she lacks in that department she makes up for in creativity- a lot of her videos are very inspired and stuff you aren't seeing anywhere else. Plus there's a nice gamut of butches and femmes and in-between, real life couples (one of which just recently got married!), and different levels of sexin' (from hot vanilla sex to BDSM and fisting and fetishes).
3) Juicypinkbox.com. A newcomer on the scene, but very distinctive, mostly because it focuses on a very lush, expensive sort of look to it . . . in one of their behind-the-scenes, they talk about being the kind of porn company that actually has a fashion consultant and clothes designer. In other words, it's meant to make an impression when it comes to aesthetics and filmography, and it differs from other high-quality cinematography companies like CPS by being a bit more softcore. That is to not to say that the action is any less softcore (I know for a fact that fisting went on in one scene, at least), but rather that the way it's filmed tends to not focus or explicitly avoid too many genital or action shots. I believe the founder's vision was something along the line of making a website that was essentially a NC-17 version of extended L-Word sex scenes. For me, that's exactly what it was- very hot, very pleasing on the eyes, but the scenes were edited too heavily for both time and explicit shots (but that's just my personal opinion and preferences).
4) Nofauxxx.com. Started a long time ago by Courtney Trouble as a little personal erotica site for her and her friends, she gradually moved from posting amateur photo sets for $10 a month to now having some six professionally-released porn DVD's . . . all still for the $10 a month price. She has two movies structured with stories, but most of her work was and continues to be of a more gonzo sort, complete with a much "harder" aesthetic- the camerawork is adequate but has no problem being gritty and handheld, if that makes any sense. And she loves some intense music in her scenes, which may or may not put you off. But make no mistake, the sex is hot and real (and many of her models and performers are the same as those in CPS, which she herself has starred in as well).
5) Cyber-dyke.net. Cyberdyke is a network of websites that you join and get access to all; it's a little different in that regard, particularly because some of the sites are very specific, like foot fetish and shaving. I'm conflicted about Cyberdyke . . . on one hand, they *are* a website run by queer women for queer women, but on the other hand, their stuff often has a sort of different feel than the websites I'm used to. Stuff tends to be more femme-femme than anything else, although there is an occasional butch/tomboy/genderqueer gal, and I'd say it falls between softcore (lots of tender lovin') and medium-hardcore on the scale of "candlelight and roses to leather and whips". On the plus side, you get several sites and access to lots of back material (they've been around for a while), but on the con side, I've always found it hard to navigate and oddly organized, and, as mentioned before, the girls and the sex don't quite work for me.
6) Butch Boi. If you like butches and bois, look no further! Very amateur cinematography (like, you could be persuaded to believe it's a home movie with a good camera), but the sex is very, very hot, and quite fun, too.
And there are plenty of other companies, depending on your taste- message me if you'd like more suggestions. | Is it normal to watch lesbian porn if you are straight? Hey I am a straight woman. I have no sexual intentions toward woman, however, I love to watch lesbian porn while masturbating. Not too nasty, probably just an "18 or older" video on Youtube. It this normal? | i think its normal
i think even thou you sleep with a girl and you are married it doesnt mean that you are lesbian | Is it wrong to find lesbian porn stimulating when your a girl and straight? I'm a girl, and I'm definitely straight... I have a boyfriend, I don't look at girls to like, but something about when I watch lesbian porn, I just find it so stimulating and gets me horny... I mean I still get horny without it, but I just want to know if this is normal? | | Quite normal. Don't sweat it. I suspect that it might make for some interesting evenings at home with your b/f as well. ;) | Is it hypocritical for someone to disapprove of homosexuality, and yet approve of lesbian porn? I am totally fine with someone being gay, but I know lots of guys who don't like homosexuals and yet really love lesbian porn. I just wonder if most people find it hypocritical. | | Yeah i would. | Uhm does it mean your necessarily a lesbian if you watch girl on girl porn? If you watch lesbian porn & want to experiment, yet very attracted to men, does it mean that your confused about your sexual orientation? | Not at all.
According to Kinsey, we all have degrees of heterosexuality and homosexuality.
Most people are mostly heterosexual, but that doesn't mean that they are not attracted to members of the same gender or enjoy porn portraying homosexuality. This is normal.
Experimentation is fine as long as you are upfront about your confusion with your partner. | Does anyone know of any good lesbian porn sites? I am getting ready to watch porn and i want a lesbian site. Does anybody know of any good porn sites? | Most porn sites have tons of videos for lesbians!
my fave sites are
xvideos.com
pornhub.com
slutload.com
youporn.com
redtube.com
tube8.com | Is it normal for a 13 year old to masturbate to lesbian porn? I know a girl that masturbates to lesbian porn. She says it really turns her on. Is this normal for her age? Does that make her bisexual? | You do realize you're not supposed to be watching any kind of porn, right?
But I digress...
1. Women do watch porn/film with 2 or more women in a sexual situation. It does turn them on (& I'd say about 99% of straight men). It is normal.
2. Women watching woman-on-woman porn/film does NOT mean she's bi/lesbian. Some people just enjoy watching it-everyone is different in what they do/do not like.
3. It is not unusual for young adults to have same sex fantasies. This doesn't make them lesbian or bi, either. It's exploring sexuality. | Is it normal for a girl to watch lesbian porn? I dont know im just wondering because when I watch porn & I see lesbians I go ahead and click on it and keep on watching it & Some how it makes me wetter by watching lesbian porn instead of regular ones.Does that mean something ?
I have a boyfriend by the way. | | Yes I think so. I don't think it's necessarily because you enjoy watching females more than men, but just because the porn with guys on it is usually him just aggresively ******* some gross girl and her making obnoxious fake orgasm sounds... or him blowing his load all over her face. That kind of stuff just usually isn't very appealing to women... so watching lesbians or solo women seems more authentic therefore more arousing. I've read about lots of women preferring lesbian porn so I think you're just fine. |
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